it occurred to me early this morning in the midst of yet another emotional hurricane and evening of upheaval and arguments, that my only refuge is my job. work is the only place where life resembles "normal" and i'm guaranteed any moments of peace or calm or consistency. It's certainly the only sense of order and structure that I have. And right now, it's the only thing grounding me and keeping me sane on days like today...

At some point the crashing has to stop, and no amount of afternoons spent walking in the rain or wine or grasping for other hands will get me out of this.

i made this bed and i don't mind sleeping in it.

but dammit... please, just let me SLEEP.